How to tell girlfriend you like SPH (small penis humiliation)

Hi Mistress Sharina, I hope you are doing good! 🙏

Can I ask you a question?
You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want too, but I just admire your approach to domination and humiliation so I thought you might have some helpful tips to my questions.

I’ll try to make it short and simple.
I have a girlfriend, and she obviously knows I have a small package. But I when I told her I really like to be tease and humiliated about it, she felt bad about it. She’s more telling me that it’s ok to have a small dick and that she don’t really mind. It’s the same thing for foot worship, she doesn’t want me to worship her feet when they are all dirty and stinky and humiliate me for my foot fetish. She’s really kind, but I don’t know how I can get my humiliation fix even though I talked to her about it a couple times. 🤔

Thanks for your time Mistress, it’s much appreciated! And it’s ok if you don’t have an answer, I already feel a bit better by writing this to you. 🙏🙏🙏❤

Mark

 

Hi Mark,

Nice to hear from you, and it's not a problem to put some perspective on your question.

So may people have a fetish and they've been driven to it all their lives. Of course there are different levels of intensity, but all in all, the same drive is to experience it, whatever it is.

Your girlfriend, on the other hand, more than likely has never had experience with anything sexual that deviates from the "norm." She is a babe in the woods, and "even if" she were the most voracious sexual partner, kink is very different and so is a life long fetish. 

A fetish is a kind of fixation to an object or body part (as in foot fetish) and it is linked towards sexual gratification.

A kink is something that is not categorized as typical and it doesn't fit into the norm.

A person who has always experienced being turned on and having sex in the typical "normal" way, has a very difficult time relating to someone who is turned on by humiliating words or a body part like a foot. I really don't like using the word "normal" because it is a suggestion that anything other than the standard norm is abnormal, which is an untruth when it relates to a fetish or kink. We don't know why we have this thing about it, but we do. This is why so many crossdressers PURGE. They try to get rid of the evidence of the part of them that makes them unacceptable to others in mainstream society.

Think of your girlfriend as a "babe in the woods." She is new to the idea of your strong desire to be humiliated and made fun of, which includes SPH (small penis humiliation) and dirty, stinky, smelly foot worship. That's a lot to wrap one's head around. It's like feeding a baby meat. They just arent ready. 

When introducing someone to a personal lifelong fetish, it takes some thought. Sometimes people just decide to keep it a secret because they don't want to ruin what they have with someone. Some people are brave and face it and tell it. There is no perfect way,  and since your girlfriend knows, I would say your next step is to educate her. You may not be able to communicate your exact feelings to her, so I always recommend a book for people to read on the subject. 

Book: When Someone You Love is Kinky

By Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt

Not everyone understands our world. We can't hold it against them, they just havent been exposed. So, this is one thing you can do, offer the book. The other is to find a way to have it be about BOTH of you. One of the reasons relationships don't work out in regard to fetish, is that the relationship and focus becomes one sided. I remember one woman told me she didn't mind her boyfriend's crossdressing, but every single time they had sex, she had to dress him up and fuck him with a strap on. ("had to" she used those words.) Not fun. It became about his needs, and it was one sided. His needs were being met, but hers weren't. They arent together any longer, she moved on.

You must also know that your girlfriend has enjoyed typical sexual encounters all of her life, and now, with this new twist in the relationship, she must look at what this means. 

The other issue, is it is very difficult for a "vanilla" person to completely understand the needs of a kinky person. I have seen couples before who are in the category of "I wish I could hurt my partner, but I just cant do it." They see it as hurting or abusing their partner. Their partner sees it as a good, rip roarin' time full of endorphins and being turned on, but their partners on the other hand recoil at the idea of shoving a dirty foot in their face or slapping the shit out of them for having a small penis. Personally, I love it.

My suggestion in a nut shell is to talk to your girlfriend since you've already opened up the conversation. Be honest with her about your need for it. Tell her you understand I'd she cannot get into it with you, but it's like denying yourself your favorite food. Sure you may get sustenance in other ways, but to forgo that lasagne...well, that's your favorite dish!

The other thing to do is to educate her and then lastly go over some solutions, things she would be comfortable with. How could she see herself participating? Does she need time? Would it help if she had a role model (pictures, video, a professional session with a dominatrix where she just observed and MAYBE participated?) At the very least, you would have explored all that is possible. If she just can't do it, ask her if it's ok if you saw a prodomme. She could either go with you, or not. 

Being able to satisfy your drive for your kink or fetish is therapeutic...make no mistake. The key is to find a viable solution for both of you to incorporate it into the relationship you have now. 

M Sharina