Are men ever sent to you by their wives or girlfriends?

Q: Are men ever sent to you by their wives or girlfriends?

Mistress Sharina;

Do You have clients that are sent to You by their Wives or Girl Friends? My Wife currently is giving me "hints" that I need a session and is even hinting to give You a call to set up the session Herself.
Yours submissively; g

A: In short, yes. Sometimes a woman wants a certain amount of control in relationship to her husband or partner seeing a prodomme or Femdom. She also feels empowered to participate by collaborating with a dominant, but not attending the session.

In a couple relationship, each person has defined needs, and although many men (or women) cannot be honest with their partner for various reasons, their needs never go away. So the ability to be able to collaborate with a knowledgeable dominant is pivotal in the relationship. It incurs trust , open honesty and the overall understanding that seeing a qualified dominant is no different than seeing a therapist.

I think it is EXCELLENT when a partner or wife trusts a professional dominant because she has allowed an opening for communication to take place. In the long run it strengthens a trusting relationship.

M Sharina

NOTE:
I work with people on an individual bases. I do not play with all people the same. Obviously this man enjoys and needs a more intense spanking which is more than a simple OTK lighthearted spanking. Which in essence is why he wants to share it with his wife and requests some guidance.

Question: How to ask my wife to see a Dominatrix?

From: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Date: Wed, Feb 8, 2023 at 8:55 PM
Subject: How to ask my wife to see a Dominatrix
To: Sharina Nicole <This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.>

Mistress Sharina Nicole:

i want to start by saying O/our first session was an extraordinary experience. i know seeing a Dominatrix isn't about sexual fulfillment and i would like my vanilla wife's permission or even her presence during a session. i would like Your advice on how to proceed

i have been struggling on how to approach this subject. Do You have any ideas on how i can communicate my need for domination? When i first met with Madeline my Wife was present. However; She may be appalled by the intensity of what You offer. i would GREATLY appreciate any assistance from You.

Yours submissively;

Mistress Sharina's Answer:
From: "Sharina Nicole" <This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.>
To: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Sent: Fri, Feb 10, 2023 at 11:30 AM

Subject: Re: Fwd: How to ask my wife to see a Dominatrix

Trying to answer my emails today and I see you have some urgency about your question.

Your sweet wife has so far indulged just a bit of your kink to the best of her ability by joining you in a strictly spanking session with a professional spanker. Because of this, and not knowing your wife, I'd say she loves you enough to try to understand. She agreed to be there and observe you being spanked. It may be, she has observed and does not want to see it again. It is odd for a wife to see her husband over the knees of a woman and then be spanked.

The main issue a partner has about a kink, is that they don't "understand" it. They may never understand it. It is a hard fact to know, but you have been honest with her and this is more than most men will ever do in fear they will be seen different from their agreed upon roles. It is also a risk because truly, their secret is out.

There are two ways to go about this. One, see if she has any interest in coming with you to another appointment. As you know, I am very methodical with a warm up to intensity. But you don't mark or bruise easily so a good bottom spanking with my hand and implements, it would seem accumulative to you in a good way, possibly a satisfyingly harsh way, but for her, she might not notice it as much. I would talk with her, tell her the why's of it, the info she'd need to understand overall why this is a necessary thing for you and most people who seek it.

If she enjoys a nice cocktail or glass of wine,  It would help to lighten her anxiety, and in doing so, a conversational beginning in my traditional sofa room will make it an easier transition and the first step in entering the main room. I do have a way of making partners feel comfortable with or without a cocktail. When there is a kind of trepidation about taking this step, I dress in comfortable attire as opposed to dominatrix attire in order to form a rapport and a trusting relationship so she and I are on the same level.

If she has no interest, the key would be for you to get her permission to session alone. It is important for you to be easy going and understanding about it. If you are in resistance to her answer, it will be normal for her to push back with resistance. This may be the first time you broach the subject. If it isn't, make this time different. Often times when a partner is included, it is a PROCESS. Men are a bit more cut and dried. Women process things a lot slower than men because they tend to be a bit more emotional.

Tell her, "Honey, I don't know why, but sharing this with you is very important to me and I understand why it is a foreign idea to you. I'm just grateful that I can be honest with you and tell you about it. I wanted to share it with you because I love you."

Keep it simple. No pressure, easy going, and say less. In this conversation it's very important not to pressure a resolution. LISTEN to her. Keep it open ended and neutral. Find the right time to talk about it. You'll know when it's right, you'll feel it in your gut. Eventually you'll be able to ask her how she feels about you receiving a spanking session alone. It really is no different than going in to see a chiropractor for an adjustment. In terms of a spanking, you actually need the endorphins to help you feel balanced just like a person whose skeletal system needs to be adjusted.

I'd be happy to chat with her over the phone, but my instinct tells me if she is not someone who feels comfortable speaking with a person who is known for her "dominance," email conversations work better. She can treat it like a "Dear Abby" and ask me what she needs to. "My husband likes a hard spanking and I don't get it and I wish he didnt like it." "Absolutely, I totally understand. There WAS a time when I first heard about people enjoying spankings. This was long before I began to understand the dynamics of kinky play and I thought it was nuts. Now, I understand EVERY aspect if it.

So, I hope this helps. Certainly it is understandable that it may take a bit of time, (or not) and to know at the very least, she has opened the door a big crack already to understand you, whom she obviously loves.

M Sharina

Sounding Makes Music

BDSM Question: Is Sounding Pleasurable?

From: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Date: Wed, May 10, 2023 at 10:17 PM
Subject: Sounding
To: Sharina Nicole <This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.>

Mistress Sharina:

When researching "Sounding" as part of CBT Play i have heard that it is extremely pleasurable. However; i haven't heard of any one actually having this procedure done on them. Perhaps with Your experience with Your submissives You can give me direction as to whether this would fit into O/our next session.

Yours submissively; G
 
G,



Mistress Sharina's Answer:
From: "Sharina Nicole" <This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.>
To: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Sent: Wed, May 17, 2023 at 5:19 PM
Subject: Re: Sounding

Sounding can be most pleasurable. One might not know how much until you actually experience it.

I've played with people who were open to it, but then the "actual idea" of it combined with an "out of control feeling" of being penetrated in this way is overwhelming.

I remember when I first did this with a person. I was co-dominating with a male dominant who could barely watch me do it. He had to stand several feet away in order to observe. Having the same "equipment" was daunting to him, not just the idea of it happening to someone else, but the idea it could happen to someone else right in front of his eyes! Empathy kicks in...

I digress, but you get the point about "the idea" of it being different than the actual experience.

The feeling is akin to the sensation of needing to urinate. Some find this very pleasurable, AND, I'd say it's more than that. There is a wonderful intensity. I can only speak to my own experiences of my own urethra. But as I ask others with a male urethra, the feelings are quite similar, and also unique to each.

I have MANY different sounding devices in all shapes and sizes as well as electro-stimulation and vibration. So many ways to incorporate other sensations to it.

Being able to couple some forms of CBT (Cock and ball torment/or bondage) or even things like anal training can add an element of intensity that can totally blow one's mind.

In order to prepare, it's important to be in the right head space of acceptance. You would  also want to drink water, enough to flush the acid from your urine so after a sounding session, it will not burn your urethra when you pee.

It's easier if you have a dominant who knows how to read energy. It needs to be good, it needs to be pleasurable and this is NOT an area (the urethra) where you want to inflict pain.

I'd say, "trust" is a good place to start. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Exploration is King 🤴

M Sharina

BDSM Questions and Answers: Age and BDSM

Here's how this thought got started.♥️

I received an email regarding a session that occurred, and I decided to share part of it here because I think this is something many people go through. In my opinion, mainly men.

SESSION INTERESTS are age play / regression, medical play, behavior modification, nurturing, OTK coercive training and behavior punishment

On Sun, Sep 11, 2022 at 7:20 AM, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. wrote:

"The last couple of years has been difficult in my ability and desire to play. I’m sure it has to do with time moving along in my life."

My response:

It's ok. It's interesting how the body changes. Two things may happen. Events in life cause pause and maybe even guilt consumes us consciously or unconsciously. The other thing that happens is, our kink is our respite and a therapeutic outlet. The mind may always have a desire, but the body becomes unresponsive because of age, stress or medical history.

I think desire is all a person needs to explore their kink whether the body responds like it did in the teens and twenties or not.

We'll explore and just have fun with it. No pressure to perform and I'll go super light on the OTK. Lots of nurturing...

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:

Along these same lines, it is important to say HOW we use a session when our mind is not in alignment with our emotional base.

Our bodies are quite interesting, but it is the mind that guides us. We may experience depression and anxiety for reasons not known to us right away. But because our mind is connected to the body, the body acts out through the mind. Our emotional well being is connected to things that happen to us and these events seed themselves and the reaction is depression and anxiety or something else.

Further along the lines of this, we self sooth through alcohol and chemical dependency, food and yes pain addiction.

Not everyone who craves a "vacation" through a session has anxiety, depression or any number of emotional upsets. But many things may happen to us to want to relieve stress, or just alter our body chemicals so we feel right again.

Know that we all go through times of "numbness" and feeling flat. My suggestion would be to open yourself up to moving through it without expectations. Sometimes it is tactile stimulation, sensory deprivation, bondage and powerlessness so that whatever happens, you have no control and it's ok.

This is one of the ways I can work with you and the situation you may be in, which is unique to you.

M Sharina