My Bizarre Fetish Life Diary 2005
March 26, 2005
My view on Corporal Punishment
I have been seeing a man, every week now for 6 weeks in a row and a few weeks ago would be for the 7th time. The reason this is so remarkable is that this man turns himself over to me (quite implicitly) for a heavy corporal punishment session...which I adore. I will describe him to you as I see him. Tall, moderate build, quiet, obsequiously submissive and meek...looks like his name might be Professor Vanatter in his vanilla life.
My slave walks through the door after doing what I ask, which is for him to take his business shoes off before he enters through My front door. I instruct him to take off all of his clothing, of which he does, beginning with his long black overcoat. (stripping him of his Professor facade) he places his clothing, as instructed, neatly on the chair. I have left the room and upon returning with My collar, see My slave in the middle of the floor in a reverent kneeling position. This always makes me smile. Such a humble display of turning oneself over to the care and control of his Mistress. I do not take this demonstration lightly.
I place and lock the collar around My slave's neck and while commanding him, pull him gently to a standing position. I have arranged a display behind Me on the bondage table of an assortment of paddles, crops, and leather instruments. I place a pillow on the floor and require him to position himself over My gartered and stockinged thighs. Before anyone goes over My lap, for a split second at the least, I not only admire the slaves appreciation for the position his Mistress has put him in, but an admiration for what the slave is about to encounter from Me. The correlation between being over one's own Mistress' thighs and receiving Her punishment at the same time, could not be more delicious.
I begin by rubbing the slave's bottom with My hand, giving him a nice warming sensation...lightly, and then moderately kneading. I use My fingernails to awaken the flesh that is about to be slapped. After a while, I begin to slap the skin. I hear the sound it makes and it moves Me forward for more of the same. I begin slapping harder until I feel the skin respond. My slave says to Me in a very controlled voice: "Thank you Mistress Sharina Nicole."
My slave has been instructed to open his knees on the pillow so I may have access to him at all times. There have been times when I will tie up his ball sack making it more easily accessible to Me due to the fact that the slave's testicles always seem to be drawn up into the body...and rightly so, I would imagine, for fear of what may happen.
I alternate between slapping My slave's bottom and methodically squeezing his ball sack until I hear signs of discomfort. I begin using different implements and listen quite intently to the sounds each one makes. My hand slides its way up My slave's back and My fingers crawl up into the slave's hair slightly. I begin clinching a fist full of hair tightly. The slave is at My mercy between My squeezing his ball sack and clenching the hair on his head while intermittently delivering a hard spanking. Over what seems like a long time, My slave's bottom feels adequately warm but not exactly hot. I allow the slave to rise and worship my boots. As I recall, during one of his visits, I pulled out My knee high latex boots. The boots were glistening with shine as My slave was instructed to lick them. To Me, the sight of a slave worshipping My boots properly, is something I look fondly upon. he was then instructed to inhale and kiss My stockings up to My thighs. When I was satisfied, I allowed My slave to take off My boots and worship my stocking feet. The stockings were taken off and My slave was allowed to worship reverently My bare feet, where upon, what was to come, would be quite heavy and overpowering and I thought it out purposefully that the slave had a haven to go to in his mind when his punishment became quite severe...
The preparation of true severity begins...I placed the Bishop Head Harness over My slave's head and began to blindfold him. I faced My slave to the mirror and cuffed his wrists to the chain on either side of him. his legs were moved to an open position, again, to be accessible. I began with a very long, steel handled leather~strap. I began slowly, working My slave up to where he was when he began his foot worship. Each time after some severity, where there was a small break, I would hear in a very controlled and soft tone, "Thank you Mistress Sharina Nicole." Rarely have I ever heard the words spoken with an overwhelming sense of apprehension or fear. Rarely have I ever heard him use a safe-word in My presence. I have flogged him while he was on his hands and knees quite severely as it is easy to use gravity in My favor to deliver such blows to the flesh. I have used a cane while he was tethered to My Saint Andrews Cross in the Panic Room, and each time I hear the words, and with little trepidation, "Thank you Mistress Sharina Nicole."
It is my utter DESIRE to break him. To bring him to tears and have him sink to the floor at My feet. What usually happens, is I break the skin before he is able to move onto the deepest level of servitude through corporal punishment. I am only willing to go much farther after this occurs. I can now see that it may take My allowing him to come into a deeper level of powerlessness through who I am willing to be in order to push his limits and guide him over the edge.
These relationships with those I play with are co-created. There are many times when I feel like I am only as good a dominant as those I play with. The energy exchange is that important... As a Mistress facilitating an experience such as this, I need to know that there is a willingness to go as far as I want someone to go and as far as they would allow themselves to go. The energy a person exudes in order to have Me see the authentic self...raw, vulnerable, willing and yielding That if I can take a step back, if only for a moment, I can see what may be required for someone to go as deep into the scene enabling them to be greatly affected by the power exchange itself. For this slave, an agreement that there will be no safe words may be what is needed. I am driving for My perception of catharsis whether the slave feels he needs the catharsis or not.
I do enjoy this type of energy exchange. This particular slave is in a certain mind frame when he calls asking to schedule an appointment. There are others, who unfortunately for Me, need to be drawn into that head space. Yesterday I had a session with a man who is not by nature submissive. Although by the time I finished with him he was respectful, almost reverent. I asked him to remove his clothing, I left the room briefly and when I returned he was sitting on My bondage table with his hands underneath his thighs swinging his legs back and forth. I snapped my finger and pointed to the floor and instructed him to present himself to his Mistress. The type of man who refers to all women as "girls..." and needs to be trained to be in the presence of not only a woman, but his Mistress. Funny, but I was to find out that he could take quite a severe punishment from Me. I ended up enjoying the session immensely because he was trainable and his spirit pliable.
While delivering certain strikes to the bottom, I worked on what is referred to as "the sweet spot." This is the place located just below the bottom of the ass. This is a very sensitive area. Needless to say, I was surprised when he hardly moved when after using a long plastic shoe horn to warm up the area, used a long, thin and very nicely made wooden paddle. Although he didn't move much, make a peep of a noise, I would soon be able to see the bruises appearing immediately. his ability to take pain made up for his lack of Mistress etiquette.
I do enjoy these exchanges and being able to mold one into My own form. There are times though when I allow things to just "be." It's all good...
Here are pics of My professer Vanatter.
-M Sharina Nicole
In remembrance of a very special anniversary:
I thought it important to make note of My slave mike who is in continual and unconditional servitude to Me. I do not allow just anyone to be in service to Me. There are a few simple things I ask when someone has the urge to become My slave and it amazes Me how many fall short and are unable to follow through with integrity, dedication and commitment.
Well, there has been one slave who has stood out. Everything I have asked him to do, he has done. he makes being a slave look simple. In the beginning I asked him to send me his weekly schedule every Sunday. As it appears, this is the first thing he does on Sunday is send Me his schedule for the following week. In the last 4 years he hasn't missed ONE Sunday. If he did, I'm certain he would be lying in a gutter somewhere dead. I have never met anyone so unconditional in their service to Me. My slave isn't kidding when he says he has dedicated his life to serving Me. There may come a time when I will allow that to change because in life, things always evolve to different levels. Until then, there is one other thing I can count on besides the Sun and Moon rising and setting every day and that is My dedicated, loyal and committed slave mike.
Thank you for your years in dedicated service to Me. I honor you with pride.
A personal letter from My slave:
my dearest, most wonderful, most beautiful Mistress Sharina,
With 2004 coming to a close, it is time for reflection. There are many vivid memories for me, when looking back at the year – Getting the late-night call from You after You injured Your toe; shopping for Spike's first car; the smother box (it was a pain in the ass getting it, but was worth the wait!); the trampling demo/lecture You gave at Patrick's Cabaret (BRAVO!!!!); the double Domme scene with You and Jean; the garage sale; the UTD scene; Your apartment move; and of course, the San Francisco trip and my first-ever Folsom Street Fair.
All of the above were very memorable moments, for one reason or another. However, for me, 2004 will forever be remembered for two things in particular…
1) Getting my *P.A. was huge for me. Part of that is conquering my fear of needles, but the main reason is what it symbolizes. To be marked by You in such a way was very emotional for me. i know i don't always show it, but i take my slave status very seriously. So, to be marked with a piercing – especially a P.A. – means a lot to me. i hold You in such high regard and consider myself so truly fortunate to be Your number one slave. The fact that i was willing to get pierced is more a reflection on You than on me. There is no one else in this world that could have put me in such a head-space that i would have even considered such a thing.
2) The other main highlight of the year for me is the Leadership Program. i am so glad i decided to go for it, and i am eternally grateful to You for enrolling me. i feel like i have grown so much already, and know that my life will never be the same. i can honestly say that Ropes Weekend was the most amazing day of my life, and the fact that i was able to share it with You made it even more special. It's okay that You weren't able to get a picture of me standing on top of the pole. i know that You and i have vivid memories of that moment that a photo could not adequately capture.
2004 marked the four-year anniversary of my servitude to You. You are such an incredible Mistress, and i am surely the luckiest slave that has ever lived. i know i tell You all the time that i adore You with every fiber of my being, and i hope You know that those are not hollow words. my adoration is true, as are my loyalty and devotion to You. i wear my collar with pride, and i am sincere when i say i dedicate my life to serving You.
In my eyes, You ARE the world's greatest Mistress, but You are also so much more. You have been a very loyal and loving friend to me, as well as a mentor, big sister and even a motherly figure because of Your nurturing ways. i am blessed to have You in my life, and so thankful for all that You have done for me. There is no one in this world that i respect and trust more than You.
As for the new year, who knows what 2005 will bring? Maybe We/we will finally win the PowerBall!!!!! One thing i am certain of is that 2005 will surely have its share of ANXIETY and DESPERATION!!! (lol) Aside from that, i am hesitant to even guess as to what You may have in store for me! Oh, the slave is always the last to know!!! But whatever happens, it will be perfect, and my loyalty and devotion will never waver.
So thank You for the fond memories of the past year, and thank You for being in my life. As Your slave, i do adore You with every fiber of my being. As Your friend, i love You.
CHEERS to 2005!
Adoringly and gratefully Yours,
*P.A is a reference to the Prince Albert piercing. The needle goes through the urethra and out through the bottom of the penis. After receiving one of these, it is more than likely a requirement to pee sitting down.
*Referring to a "ropes" course, where by climbing a 37 foot pole and standing directly on top of it and then jumping off, you face your fears, find out what you experience with fear and what you do to move forward through it.
*One of My slave's duties is to play the PowerBall weekly...
Posted on Max Fisch Board by My slave mike on 12/09/04
Today is a very special day for me, as it marks the four-year anniversary of Mistress Sharina Nicole presenting me with Her collar.
Many of You/you already know my story - that i got into the fetish scene many years ago merely to satisfy my foot fetish. i had seen many Mistresses prior to seeing Mistress Sharina, but had no intent of ever serving anyone or becoming a slave. The fact that i have become such a loyal and dedicated slave to Mistress Sharina is testimony to what an amazing Mistress She is. She is a mesmerizing beauty who deftly works one's mind and body to places they have never gone before.
i count my blessings every day for having been chosen to serve Mistress Sharina. It is an honor and a privilege that i do not take lightly. The past four years have been an incredible journey. i have learned so much about myself and what it means to dedicate your life to serving someone. i wear my collar with great pride, and never take it for granted.
So, to Mistress Sharina i would like to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! Thank You so much for allowing me to serve. Thank You for the time and effort You have invested in my training. And thank You for allowing me to get to know the magnificent Woman that You are...the caring, loving, passionate, intelligent and spiritual Woman that makes You - in my humble opinion - the world's greatest Mistress. i dedicate my life to serving You.
sweet pea (aka slave mike)