NOTE:
I work with people on an individual bases. I do not play with all people the same. Obviously this man enjoys and needs a more intense spanking which is more than a simple OTK lighthearted spanking. Which in essence is why he wants to share it with his wife and requests some guidance.

Question: How to ask my wife to see a Dominatrix?

From: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Date: Wed, Feb 8, 2023 at 8:55 PM
Subject: How to ask my wife to see a Dominatrix
To: Sharina Nicole <This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.>

Mistress Sharina Nicole:

i want to start by saying O/our first session was an extraordinary experience. i know seeing a Dominatrix isn't about sexual fulfillment and i would like my vanilla wife's permission or even her presence during a session. i would like Your advice on how to proceed

i have been struggling on how to approach this subject. Do You have any ideas on how i can communicate my need for domination? When i first met with Madeline my Wife was present. However; She may be appalled by the intensity of what You offer. i would GREATLY appreciate any assistance from You.

Yours submissively;

Mistress Sharina's Answer:
From: "Sharina Nicole" <This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.>
To: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Sent: Fri, Feb 10, 2023 at 11:30 AM

Subject: Re: Fwd: How to ask my wife to see a Dominatrix

Trying to answer my emails today and I see you have some urgency about your question.

Your sweet wife has so far indulged just a bit of your kink to the best of her ability by joining you in a strictly spanking session with a professional spanker. Because of this, and not knowing your wife, I'd say she loves you enough to try to understand. She agreed to be there and observe you being spanked. It may be, she has observed and does not want to see it again. It is odd for a wife to see her husband over the knees of a woman and then be spanked.

The main issue a partner has about a kink, is that they don't "understand" it. They may never understand it. It is a hard fact to know, but you have been honest with her and this is more than most men will ever do in fear they will be seen different from their agreed upon roles. It is also a risk because truly, their secret is out.

There are two ways to go about this. One, see if she has any interest in coming with you to another appointment. As you know, I am very methodical with a warm up to intensity. But you don't mark or bruise easily so a good bottom spanking with my hand and implements, it would seem accumulative to you in a good way, possibly a satisfyingly harsh way, but for her, she might not notice it as much. I would talk with her, tell her the why's of it, the info she'd need to understand overall why this is a necessary thing for you and most people who seek it.

If she enjoys a nice cocktail or glass of wine,  It would help to lighten her anxiety, and in doing so, a conversational beginning in my traditional sofa room will make it an easier transition and the first step in entering the main room. I do have a way of making partners feel comfortable with or without a cocktail. When there is a kind of trepidation about taking this step, I dress in comfortable attire as opposed to dominatrix attire in order to form a rapport and a trusting relationship so she and I are on the same level.

If she has no interest, the key would be for you to get her permission to session alone. It is important for you to be easy going and understanding about it. If you are in resistance to her answer, it will be normal for her to push back with resistance. This may be the first time you broach the subject. If it isn't, make this time different. Often times when a partner is included, it is a PROCESS. Men are a bit more cut and dried. Women process things a lot slower than men because they tend to be a bit more emotional.

Tell her, "Honey, I don't know why, but sharing this with you is very important to me and I understand why it is a foreign idea to you. I'm just grateful that I can be honest with you and tell you about it. I wanted to share it with you because I love you."

Keep it simple. No pressure, easy going, and say less. In this conversation it's very important not to pressure a resolution. LISTEN to her. Keep it open ended and neutral. Find the right time to talk about it. You'll know when it's right, you'll feel it in your gut. Eventually you'll be able to ask her how she feels about you receiving a spanking session alone. It really is no different than going in to see a chiropractor for an adjustment. In terms of a spanking, you actually need the endorphins to help you feel balanced just like a person whose skeletal system needs to be adjusted.

I'd be happy to chat with her over the phone, but my instinct tells me if she is not someone who feels comfortable speaking with a person who is known for her "dominance," email conversations work better. She can treat it like a "Dear Abby" and ask me what she needs to. "My husband likes a hard spanking and I don't get it and I wish he didnt like it." "Absolutely, I totally understand. There WAS a time when I first heard about people enjoying spankings. This was long before I began to understand the dynamics of kinky play and I thought it was nuts. Now, I understand EVERY aspect if it.

So, I hope this helps. Certainly it is understandable that it may take a bit of time, (or not) and to know at the very least, she has opened the door a big crack already to understand you, whom she obviously loves.

M Sharina