long distance relationships BDSM

Expert: Sharina Nicole

Question
Hello! My boyfriend and I are currently in a long distance relationship 372 miles and are both very into BDSM, he the Dom and i the sub. We see each other every couple of weeks and can act our fantasies and such when we are together but we're both itching for extending it to even when we are seperated. Do you have any suggestions or advice for scenarios and such we could try to keep the spirit of our mind blowing visits alive even when seperated? we've used plugs worn daily and vibrators and things worn under garments but we're kind of looking for something different. We'd really appreciate any advice.

Answer
Anya,

This is where your creative juices will begin to flow! You both know each other already and you must know what makes each other tick. So, in communicating with your Dom, through a long distance relationship for now, there are a few things you can do to keep the D/s fires burning.

First, TEXTING (and NOT while driving, Skype, Yahoo/AOL instant messengers (IM) are great ways to communicate. Your Dom can have you do things to yourself while he is either present (through Skype or IM) or not. He can instruct you in self bondage (simple harness style rope behind your neck with two ropes running on either side of your vaginal lips, back up and not to tie your arms, but to go around your breasts). He can watch while he instructs you if you are on Skype. He can tell you to put nipple clips on your nipples for a certain period of time and if you can take it, you get a reward of some kind.You may add weight like fishing pole anchors, maybe your rewards are erotic treats for how much weight you can take. He can control you in many different ways by expecting you to do things he will be instructing you to do at certain times of the day. Example, beginning at 12 noon, you are to place a vaginal egg vibrator inside yourself, and then every hour at the top of the hour, no matter what you are doing at the time, you must reach for the cord and turn on the vibrator. He may instruct you to do this for a certain period of time at the top of each hour. You may be chatting with someone and you can't leave the conversation, maybe you are in a meeting, but whatever situation you are in, you must follow the rules or be suffer a consequence. In this way, he will control your day and you will think of him all the time and you will also be a good sub by following his instructions to the letter.

He will learn to control you in many ways like this. Your creativity is your limit and there are a MILLION ways to control someone, these are only small examples of how to begin, but you see the dynamic.

He may give you a small assortment of maybe 4 words and have you write a story for him. I once did this with one of my slaves and he wrote me a beautiful story of how he crawled on broken glass and rusty nails to complete his journey to my Castle. I can't remember the words I chose, but I chose words that were interesting and didn't necessarily go together, so he had to figure out how he was going to put it in the plot line. It was such a JOY to read his interpretation of the few words I gave him!

These are things you can do while away from each other that will tie (no pun intended) you together in heart and mind...

Let me know what you come up with!

M Sharina